Seeking Answers

The mysteries of life are to be pondered, thought about, twisted around in ones mind and regurgitated.  As I was growing up I always wondered why "I" had to be the weird kid.  Many of my friends today would not believe this but I really did not naturally like lots and lots of people, talking or trying unfamiliar things.  The natural order in my life pretty well calculated and catered to my aloneness.  My maiden name started with the letter "Y" placing me always at the back of the line, in the back of the classroom or in any event that took place that required order, the last to be called upon.  So when you add all this up, last to be born, end of the alphabet, and being shy, it doesn't quite work out to what I am today.  Today, I so enjoy meeting new people, don't mind being singled out and enjoy trying many new things.

When the Bible says you become a new creature in Christ and old things pass away and all things become new, it literally means it.  As a child I struggled with my identity, trying on, hiding behind or running away from many IDs but continued to always be looking for, crying out for answers of why I felt this pain lodged so deep inside my heart. Cookies, pretty things, romance books, being alone, having crushes on boys, the desire to be noticed, just wanting to fit in, or at the very least not to be the weirdo kid that had to wears skirts and have a  mom that wore a funny looking dress and hat, where just substitutes of something I knew was missing.  But what was I missing?

The earliest memory in my life that I can remember is waking up from a nap and seeing strangers standing in my bedroom surrounding my bed and pointing at me.  Some people today might say they where aliens or angles but I still to this day remember I was struck to my core with fear.  The one question swimming in my head at the time and putting my little body on full alert was "Where is my mom?"  Just so you all don't think my mother was an unfit mother, I came to find out later that the strangers in my room where with her and they where looking at the house to see if they wanted to rent it and I was suppose to be napping.  To me my mother meant safety and that nobody would hurt me.  In a perfect world parents are part of a child's life representing safety, security and unconditional love but in this world of sin those relationships can get turned around, abused and just plain distorted. Even at the young age of two my perfect world view was distorted but my little mind was still seeking. Seeking answers to questions that would one day turn my upside down life right side up, putting it into perfect order!

Sitka sits in the Tlingit native tribe territory known as modern day southeast Alaska. Tlingit is pronounced as Klinkit. I recently visited the Sitka National Historical Park and viewed some totem poles.  The tribe just raised one in the past year which you can tell by the brightness of the painting.

Listed below are reasons why they make and raise totem poles accourding to the Sitka National Historical Park website http://www.nps.gov/sitk/historyculture/totem-poles.htm

• Crest poles give the ancestry of particular family.
• History poles record the history of a clan.
• Legend poles illustrate folklore or real life experiences.
• Memorial poles commemorate a particular individual.

http://www.indians.org/articles/tlingit-art.html  more info on the tribe if interested.

In the Beginning

To many of you I am known but to some I am not.  I have been reflecting back over my life and pondering the moments that I can remember. Some bring smiles and lots of laughter others just bring quiet reflection of events that one wishes had taken another turn.  But the past is the past and is forever cemented in time.

So in the beginning when creation began for this life, I arrived as the youngest of four children, all which had been boys until till me.  Most certainly this had to have been a major event!?  Or so I have been forever reminded of by my brothers.  Being the "baby" and the only "girl" from my point of few had and still has advantages and disadvantages depending on the situation.

This wonderful event called life took place in a Midwestern state in a "Amish" style home. One can only image what that means to people looking in but to those looking out it just is normal.  Television, radio, movies etc. just where not a part of daily life.  I was not allowed to wear pants and to this day find myself gravitating to wearing skirts just because that feels "normal" to me. 

But in the depth of all these beginnings one thing that was taught to me "God is God and the Bible holds all the unquestionable truth of God!"

 

Sitka is made up of two islands connected by a bridge.  The main part of town and my house are on the main island.  The second island has the airport, hospital, Coast Guard, college and a few other things.  When I pass over the bridge everday I see this island with houses on it off to the south.  If you notice closely there is a walkway of rocks but they can only able to be used when the tide is out.


 

I noticed it also has a rope with a boat! Talk about a wet ride home!




A view of downtown Sitka from bridge.




Another view from bridge looking south.





More of downtown Sitka

 




Downtown Sitka

  


Sitka and the bridge that connects the two islands on a more clear day.

 


Another clear view!

 

Walking in the Rain

It has now turned toward fall here in Sitka which means rain!  



Sitka, Alaska



Sitka, Alaska





 I look back and just a few months ago I was in  Arizona enjoying warmth and sunshine. Miss those nice sunny days!

 

On a weekend trip to Williams, Arizona I took the back road heading south out of town. Williams is located just south of the Grand Canyon so this trip is driving down from rim country to the desert valley floor. The views where absolutly magnificent.



As I traveled I pondered the wonderment of God's creation and thought of a poem from my eight grade liturature class taught by Mr. Brown.  He made us memorize and stand up in front of the whole class to recite it. To an eight grader it brought such horror of being in front of your peers, feeling their judgement and not being able to run unless you wanted a failing grade. It kind of reminded me of how Adam and Eve must have felt when they where in the garden right after they had just partaken of the fruit from the one tree that God had ask them not to eat from.  The first feeling and realization of their nakedness. The first introduction of sin into a perfect world. I praise the Lord that I can once again have a perfect relationship with our Father through his Son, whom took on all of my sin so I could stand clean without stain in front of my Father.



 

 



Arizona







Arizona















Arizona

 I do so thank Mr. Brown now for introducing, making me memorize, and recite some wonderful liturature.  This poem has been for ever implanted as a reminder of the way I want to live my life.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Arizona











Arizona







Sitka, Alaska on rainy day! One of many!







Arizona







Arizona







Arizona



 

Arizona

 

Northern Arizona



Glad you could join me on the road less traveled by!



Lovely Cabin

I have to say I am really enjoying where I am staying! The view of the water is awsome!



The cabin at Haven Lane. 



The landlord is building another cabin between my house and the water.



The view from the dining room.



Haven cabin



Haven cabin view from the water.





The floor plan is open with bed in open loft. The kitchen is really nice!





Front door leading into living room.





Walk through kitchen leading into dining room.



First trip to Alaska

At the end of July I made my first ever trip to Alaska! I am working for three months in Sitka, Alaska as a temp in the healthcare industry.  The Lord is awsome and have enjoyed my time so far!



The Seattle Airport on my flight to Sitka.



Sitka, Alaska

Sitka, Alaska



Sitka, Alaska



Sitka, Alaska



Sitka, Alaska



The Landscape of My Daily Surroundings

Sense the beginning of March I have taken an adventure with the blessing of my husband to accept a working position in the desert of the southwest.  When the Lord took Moses out to the back of the desert to teach and prepare him in becoming a leader my life has taken that turn also..